Launching "fiftease!" to keep the fifties fun!
Got a suggestion for a future cartoon?
Please leave a comment, and if I use your idea,
I'll give you credit for the inspiration!
Keep smiling, and pass the french fries!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
No Sissies Allowed!
We admire a woman for the courage to show herself to the world as she is, and in the end it's the courage we find attractive.” Imagine we’d all like to thank this “unknown author,” wherever and whoever she is.
And also like to ask her if she always had the courage to show herself as she is. Or did it come easier after she reached middle-age.
Because in the big scheme of things, what’s a little dry skin? Or adding belt holes? Or…there was a third thing, but I forget.
So here’s to our fearless sisterhood, slathering as fast as we can.
Yet plucky enough to be good with however it plays out.
(Plucky. That reminds me, where are my tweezers? Or should I just break down and get the hedge trimmers?)
~ Diana Black
Vibrant Nation Blog Circle Member!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Why It's Hats Off To The Mature Woman!
Apparently though, she saw me. Or a reasonable facsimile. I’m basing this on her recent quote in the Daily Mail: “While mature women may effortlessly balance work and family life for 50 weeks of the year, when it comes to holidays even the most self-aware women may find their confidence slipping.”
Come to think of it, maybe she was that bikini-clad number who glared at me as she executed a grand jeté across my flamingo beach towel, finishing with an arabesque as she caught a Frisbee with her buttocks. Or perhaps the young woman sunbathing on her tummy, topless, her “lungs” apparently filled to overflowing with salt-sea air.
Anyway, Ms. Quilliam further implied that boosting the mature woman’s self-confidence on vacation is paramount. And as any mature woman knows there’s but one way to attain a goal as critical as that. It requires a plethora of…clothes, accessories and shoes.
The fact is, those items are so paramount, studies have been conducted. Online retailer isme.com discovered that over half of 50-something women pack, per trip, up to 10 individual outfits. Nearly 100% of those women then stuff their suitcase with 5 pairs of shoes. Add to that 5 handbags (the average most women claim to take on vacation), and you have the making of a stylish, senior sightseer.
Now this next part is just crazy if you ask me. Sixty-five percent of these women, at the end of their holiday, wore half of what they’d packed. What diligence it takes to return home with as little dirty laundry as that. And yet others described that as excessive packing!
Seriously, how’s a woman in her prime to feel good about herself labeled as an “overpacker”? Why, it’s enough to justify her “accidently” mistaking someone’s swim top for a bookmark or stretching her legs at the most inopportune time.
It is, after all, so hard to see anything from under those darn big hats.
~ Diana Black
BlogCircleMember Vibrant Nation!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Why Woman's Work Is Never Done!
So, I log on to a free clip art site. Hmm, I’m thinking, maybe I’ll start by just typing the word “women” in the search box.
Wow! Lots of great pictures! Women reading. Women talking. Women exercising.
But it’ll take a month of Sundays to view all the photographs, and who really has that kind of time. Definitely need to narrow the search a bit. Did I mention I’m creating a photo collage of women of, you know, a vibrant age? No? Well, I am. Or was.
Anyway, to tell the truth, when I looked at the first few pages under the broad (gotta love homonyms!) search, it was hard to determine if some women had yet reached the big 5-0.
The next thought was what if I use a picture of a woman who isn’t at least 50? Of course the clip art is free and the woman photographed obviously provided the picture for use within public domain rights. So, no, I wasn’t worried about getting sued or anything. And anyone seeing the collage might question the age of certain women, but still that wasn’t my main concern.
Face it, how many of us want our 49-year-old or younger countenance portrayed a day older than we really are? Seriously, not good.
Kind of like when someone asks you when the baby’s due, and you’re not pregnant.
Nothing would do but for me to search again. This time I precede “women” with a dreaded word. Slowly I type s-e-n-i-o-r. It results in four pages of pictures.
Oh, I could have stopped there, but no. Still don’t know if the next search makes me feel better or worse, but I typed “older women,” and only one picture surfaced.
I’m choosing to believe it is not because people do not wish to see pictures of older women. I submit it is because a woman runs the clip art site and refuses to use that label. (She was probably on vacation the day that one picture was added.)
Bottom line, I thought the search was over. The product finished. Because just look at it, it’s indeed a vibrant nation of women, don’t you think? Yes, definitely vibrant.
But, how do I say it… Now you’re reading this post. And I’m thinking, the reflection on your computer screen, yet another vibrant woman has appeared and should be included!
Oh, woman’s work is never done!
(No clips or art were harmed in the making of this collage :>)
Wow! Lots of great pictures! Women reading. Women talking. Women exercising.
But it’ll take a month of Sundays to view all the photographs, and who really has that kind of time. Definitely need to narrow the search a bit. Did I mention I’m creating a photo collage of women of, you know, a vibrant age? No? Well, I am. Or was.
Anyway, to tell the truth, when I looked at the first few pages under the broad (gotta love homonyms!) search, it was hard to determine if some women had yet reached the big 5-0.
The next thought was what if I use a picture of a woman who isn’t at least 50? Of course the clip art is free and the woman photographed obviously provided the picture for use within public domain rights. So, no, I wasn’t worried about getting sued or anything. And anyone seeing the collage might question the age of certain women, but still that wasn’t my main concern.
Face it, how many of us want our 49-year-old or younger countenance portrayed a day older than we really are? Seriously, not good.
Kind of like when someone asks you when the baby’s due, and you’re not pregnant.
Nothing would do but for me to search again. This time I precede “women” with a dreaded word. Slowly I type s-e-n-i-o-r. It results in four pages of pictures.
Oh, I could have stopped there, but no. Still don’t know if the next search makes me feel better or worse, but I typed “older women,” and only one picture surfaced.
I’m choosing to believe it is not because people do not wish to see pictures of older women. I submit it is because a woman runs the clip art site and refuses to use that label. (She was probably on vacation the day that one picture was added.)
Bottom line, I thought the search was over. The product finished. Because just look at it, it’s indeed a vibrant nation of women, don’t you think? Yes, definitely vibrant.
But, how do I say it… Now you’re reading this post. And I’m thinking, the reflection on your computer screen, yet another vibrant woman has appeared and should be included!
Oh, woman’s work is never done!
(No clips or art were harmed in the making of this collage :>)
--Diana Black
Follow on Vibrant Nation Blog Circle!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Why It's Matt & Me 4-ever!
He’s tall, dark and …100% rubber.
Yes, I’m talking about my yoga mat, Matt.
It was love at first plank. And trust me, I’ve been through one or three “Matts” in my day, so I know what I’m talking about.
Naturally, at first I was leery, fearing yet another mat would dump me. After all, the number of failed moon salutations over the years was astronomical. And downward-facing dogs? They were never a “pawsitive” experience with those other mats. So, no, not this girl’s best friend.
Then along came Matt.
I’d heard Matt could handle a really hot woman. It’s true. Perspiration is no sweat. Matt lays there almost begging “Bring it on!” Another positive, going longer than 20 minutes is no problem for Matt, which is good as the classes I attend are generally over an hour.
But, you ask, you’re over 50, don’t you worry Matt will leave you for a younger “yogini”? Sometimes. So, here you have it. When we’re not together, I tie Matt up. I use my yoga strap so it looks innocent enough, like you know, I’m just trying to be neat and keep my yoga gear in order.
So far Matt hasn’t complained. That’s right, Matt has no opinion…and could care less about the TV remote.
-- Diana Black
Now a Blog Circle Member! Read it at Vibrant Nation!
Yes, I’m talking about my yoga mat, Matt.
It was love at first plank. And trust me, I’ve been through one or three “Matts” in my day, so I know what I’m talking about.
Naturally, at first I was leery, fearing yet another mat would dump me. After all, the number of failed moon salutations over the years was astronomical. And downward-facing dogs? They were never a “pawsitive” experience with those other mats. So, no, not this girl’s best friend.
Then along came Matt.
I’d heard Matt could handle a really hot woman. It’s true. Perspiration is no sweat. Matt lays there almost begging “Bring it on!” Another positive, going longer than 20 minutes is no problem for Matt, which is good as the classes I attend are generally over an hour.
But, you ask, you’re over 50, don’t you worry Matt will leave you for a younger “yogini”? Sometimes. So, here you have it. When we’re not together, I tie Matt up. I use my yoga strap so it looks innocent enough, like you know, I’m just trying to be neat and keep my yoga gear in order.
So far Matt hasn’t complained. That’s right, Matt has no opinion…and could care less about the TV remote.
-- Diana Black
Now a Blog Circle Member! Read it at Vibrant Nation!
Monday, June 13, 2011
In Why's Defense
* Why did we meet that Kroger shopper?
* Why did we hear that NPR interview?
* Why did we win Bob Dylan concert tickets?
Why, why, why?
Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s “Theirs not to reason why…” (The Charge of the Light Brigade) might suggest there are times it is irresponsible to question why. Example: in defense of country.
But a closer look at events that inspired Tennyson’s poem—half a league’s attack during the Crimean War—begs the question: Why should we not believe the men silently reasoned why?
Or, maybe the more important point to explore is this: Is there a "right" why and a "wrong" why? Or a right time and a wrong time?
Once you’re actually riding into the valley of Death, you may already want to have the “whys” pretty much sorted out and resolved. Just sayin’.
Before that charge, though, that’s the time to reason why. So that when the big day comes, we know who we are, how we got there, and what really matters.
Problem is, today we seem to have it all turned around. First, we ask what matters; then we ask how we go about getting what. But the thing is, forget how we get what, we never asked “why” what matters. (Is there a “who’s on first routine” emerging?!)
Again, just sayin’, might we ask ourselves why meeting that shopper seems special; why that interview sparks our interest; why tickets to a Dylan concert makes our heart sing.
Why?
That’s the leftfielder’s name.
- Diana Black
Thursday, May 26, 2011
That wallpaper! WHY?!?
You know how it is. You’re excited to move in a new place, still you notice LITTLE things that bug you A LOT, and you swear in a couple weeks, okay, maybe a month, you’ll have them whipped into shape.
WHY, you ask yourself, would ANYONE live with, for example, that wallpaper? Outdated? Ha, that doesn’t begin to describe it. You dare say downright repulsive is more like it.
Now, hypothetically, let’s imagine the above scene taking place in, oh, 2006. In the fall.
Summer 2007: well, the AC needs work, and new deck furniture would be nice so you can enjoy your beautiful backyard.
2008: election year and you need to vote.
2009: who can remember.
2010: the house exterior could use a fresh coat of paint, and lord knows, you have to keep up with the Joneses.
Spring 2011: YOU CAN STAND IT NOMORE! You are out of control. You sponge bathe at the kitchen sink because you can’t bring yourself to enter
either bathroom. The service station down the street refuses you the restroom key even when you argue there’s no sign limiting number of uses by one individual, or family.
So the transformation of both rooms is sanctioned. It’s the best of times; it's the worst of times.
You and your sister spend amazing time together and have funny new stories in your repertoire. The rooms look amazing, and really, the worst of it? You have a little less money in your bank account, and there’s only that one associate at Home Depot who issued a restraining order.
Why?
That’s blog for another day…
~ diana
WHY, you ask yourself, would ANYONE live with, for example, that wallpaper? Outdated? Ha, that doesn’t begin to describe it. You dare say downright repulsive is more like it.
Now, hypothetically, let’s imagine the above scene taking place in, oh, 2006. In the fall.
Summer 2007: well, the AC needs work, and new deck furniture would be nice so you can enjoy your beautiful backyard.
2008: election year and you need to vote.
2009: who can remember.
2010: the house exterior could use a fresh coat of paint, and lord knows, you have to keep up with the Joneses.
Spring 2011: YOU CAN STAND IT NOMORE! You are out of control. You sponge bathe at the kitchen sink because you can’t bring yourself to enter
either bathroom. The service station down the street refuses you the restroom key even when you argue there’s no sign limiting number of uses by one individual, or family.So the transformation of both rooms is sanctioned. It’s the best of times; it's the worst of times.
You and your sister spend amazing time together and have funny new stories in your repertoire. The rooms look amazing, and really, the worst of it? You have a little less money in your bank account, and there’s only that one associate at Home Depot who issued a restraining order.
Why?
That’s blog for another day…
~ diana
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